There’s no one right way to raise children. In today’s world, “having it all” really means choosing the shuffle of pros and cons that works best for your family.

For many mothers, that balance includes working, a reality that requires time away from the kids.This inevitably means missing things. Some of those things are banal, like school pick-ups, but others more difficult, like soccer games or recitals.

Even more challenging than not being there can be having to explain why, especially when the occurrence isn’t uncommon. We talked to moms with demanding careers to find out how they make navigating this hurdle a little easier.

Clarify the Equation

Though work can create positive impacts and provide personal fulfillment, in the simplest sense, it’s a necessity of life. Put most plainly, work equals money, and money equals food, shelter, birthday presents, and more.

Kids often don’t understand this relationship – they just know that Mommy is gone. “One day, both of the kids were giving me a hard time [about working a lot],” engineer, entrepreneur, and CEO, Margie, explains, “and [my husband] said, ‘the house we live in, the Amazon boxes that show up on our porch, the vacations we take, that’s all because Mom works. So if you want a different lifestyle, Mom can do something different.'” Understanding that the reason Mom is away doesn’t make the absence easier, but seeing a tangible link can help kids to accept it.

Explaining work this way also empowers children by including them in the family’s choices. Management consultant Marianne describes bringing her kids into the challenge: “I’d say, ‘Mom has a job, and sometimes the job asks her to do things that are hard on a family. Sometimes Dad’s job asks him to do things that are hard on our family. So we have to work as a team, and it will all work out.”

Let Them In

Things get more complicated when regular travel or commuting is involved, but technology can help bridge the gap.

CEO Kari says, “I advocated for my kids to have cell phones as early adopters at a young age so they could call me from anywhere. This was not necessarily welcomed by teachers or other parents, but it was important to me that they could reach me at any time.” Similarly, Margie recounts that the advent of FaceTime made a world of difference because she “could let them into what I was doing, and show them where I was and what I was seeing.”

Though being away for extended periods of time is difficult, these new tools can keep you present at home, and help your kid(s) to feel included in your time away.

Embrace the Space

“I was on a fishing boat for four months during the summer for a few years,” explains serial entrepreneur Silver. “That was hard, but I told them, ‘I will always ‘be there’ for you, but I can’t and won’t always physically be there.'”

Being away can give children space to navigate their days differently, and to embrace the increasing responsibilities they’ll take on as they get older. The distance can also give kids the opportunity to explore other relationships more deeply. “My youngest used to say, ‘Mom, don’t go,’ when I was leaving for a trip,” recounts Marianne, “and I’d reply, ‘I’m going to come back, and this gives you an opportunity to be with Dad one-on-one.” Focusing children on the positives of the new experience can help to diffuse the disruption.

When You’re There, Be There

While conversations can help children to understand Mom’s busy work schedule, strong family habits can play an equally important role in creating stability. Many of the moms we talked to mentioned non-negotiable nightly family dinners, and those who traveled more cleared their social calendars during particularly intense times to give the kids their undivided attention.

The juggle isn’t easy, but you’re doing great, Mama.